We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
