i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Someone shattered a urinal.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
