He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
