I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Let's get the cat blown out
My liver is preforming stress tests.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize
