Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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