Sry I called you an 8
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
