Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
