but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
