Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
