:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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