I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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