Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
