I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
