Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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