Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
