i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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