His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
worst night to have a conscience
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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