Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
