Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
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