1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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