Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Randomize
