first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
