Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
smell my finger.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
