she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
