I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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