i was born a porn star she said
Say something about gay babies.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
