No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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