we should wear snuggies to the strip club
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
