Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize