We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
