This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
