You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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