i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
