Kareoke will never be a sober sport
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
