So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
