I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
