I must be too annoying 4 u.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
