At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Randomize
