i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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