I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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