She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize