.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
