i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
