do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
