hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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