He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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