Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
