See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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