Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
