Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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