Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
