I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Randomize
