Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Randomize
