I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
