she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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