I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I want to fling myself into the sun
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
