the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize
