just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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