I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Even my vagina gasped.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
