we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
