i just wanna soil my oats bro
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize