Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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