I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
All I want is dick and wine.
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