I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I can't turn off my feet"
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
