wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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