sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
