Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
