I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
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