i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I think people are normalizing furries
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
