I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Randomize
