dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
