I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
