This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
