and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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