I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize