im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
