Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize
