Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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